


All of me...

by zazajb



Series: Unbreak my heart [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 15:18:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  Jack struggles to express his feelings to Ianto after his return from his travels with the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of me...

  


Title: All of me...  
Author: zazajb  
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M  
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team  
Spoilers – mention of KKBB - set start TW S2  
Summary:Jack struggles to express his feelings to Ianto after his return from his travels with the Doctor. 

Fic masterlist:  <http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html>

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time  
A/N This is the companion piece to Unbreak my heart <http://zazajb.livejournal.com/18370.html>

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

All of me

Coat billowing around him, Jack surveyed the city from his lofty position on the roof of the Millenium Centre, taking some comfort from the familiar landmarks and reassuring normality of the view. A complete year lost – of course, for them, it had never happened... He caught his breath as the image of the Master’s cold cruel face swam in front of his vision and he immediately countered with the one image that had kept him fighting...Ianto _my Ianto_ laughing, his head thrown back with abandon, Ianto slowly unbuttoning his waistcoat, their eyes locked together, desire and passion radiating out of twin pools of blue... _my Ianto...you captivate me with your resonating light..._

He sighed heavily. He’d meant it, that whole _I came back for you_ when he’d looked at Ianto as the team had berated him for disappearing...for leaving them... _leaving him...your face haunts my dreams..._ Now it was like they were further apart than when there was one hundred trillion years between them... He’d asked Ianto for a date...a proper date...and the Welshman had seemed genuinely startled by the suggestion...he’d accepted, but...and that was as far as it had gone and now Jack had no idea how to reach out to the young man who had captured his soul so completely it hurt to breathe with him in the room and not in his arms, without their skin touching...lips that should be crushed to his as they kissed their way to blissful oblivion... _you still have...all of me..._

Back down in his bunker, he threw himself onto his bed, an echo of the Welshman’s scent on his pillow... _your presence still lingers here..._ Would they ever be together in this bed again? He recalled those long nights after Lisa, after the Brecon Beacons, when Ianto’s nightmares would find him thrashing wildly as he sought to escape the terrors of the darkness... _when you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears, when you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears..._

They’d been through so much...each had suffered and found comfort – and _admit it, you stubborn fool_ – _love_ \- in the other, comfort that he craved so much now... _these wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is all too real...there’s just so much that time cannot erase..._ He needed to feel Ianto’s arms around him, to bury his head into that fragrant neck and kiss those soft and sensual lips...to mould himself against the young man’s warm body, slick and sweaty after their frantic lovemaking... _you still have...all of me..._

Night dragged into day and the torture began anew...this was not the torture of the Master’s knife, or laser screwdriver or the hundred and one other ways he’d been killed time and time again...this was worse...self-inflicted exile from the one place he desperately needed to be... _Ianto’s arms...Ianto’s embrace...Ianto’s heart...my Ianto..._

The intoxicating aroma of coffee announced the arrival of his Welshman and he opened his eyes... _speak!_ his brain screamed at him... _reach out...touch him...do...something..._ He glanced up and their eyes met, the hurt in those beautiful blue depths was so raw that Jack retreated instantly... 

Long, slim hands placed his blue and white striped mug on the coaster, a plate with his favourite chocolate brownie landed beside it and then he was gone, a lingering scent of ginger and lime shampoo the only remnant of his presence...

Jack cupped his hands around his mug and inhaled deeply, the aroma of his favourite blend merely serving to deliver another slapped reminder of all the ways Ianto was reaching out towards him... _I held your hand through all of these years..._ A sudden sob burst from his lips, tears ran unchecked down his cheeks and he reached out a trembling hand towards the empty doorway as the back view of his gorgeous erstwhile lover and best friend faded from view...

It was many minutes before he was able to regain control, brushing the tears away with his hand and reaching forward to flick on the CCTV... The screen flickered and the image of his Welshman appeared, working diligently in the archives, a picture of perfection in well cut wool blend navy pinstripes, crisp pale pink cotton and a flash of red silk tied in a perfect knot at his throat...he was _beautiful...these wounds won’t seem to heal...this pain is all too real_...

The day dragged on by, the rest of the team seemingly content to have their Captain back at the helm...Ianto, for his part, was professional in the extreme - polite, efficient...everything an employer should want... _I want more...I need you, Ianto...my Ianto...you still have...all of me..._

Several times Jack had tried to say what he so desperately needed to get out...it was in his head, he just couldn’t get his mouth to part with the words and his heart broke anew when the hope that welled in the young man’s eyes each time he’d opened his mouth, drowned in disappointment when no words appeared and the hurt reasserted itself once more... _there’s just so much that time cannot erase..._

They’d had an exceptionally crappy day today – weevils, a crashed Uxtopian freighter, a rift refugee returned and twenty seven hoax calls via the police line reporting strange lights in the sky...their worst day by far since bloody John Hart and his trail of destruction... In the past, after a trying day, he’d find solace in Ianto’s embrace, in the feel of his lips, so soft and responsive under his own, in the ultimate pleasure as their bodies writhed together until their cried release before collapsing in each other’s arms, limbs tangled as they kissed lazily... _your presence still lingers here..._

He pushed himself out of his chair and pulled on his coat, striding out of the hub through the rain, towards the young man’s flat... _I came back for you...if you’ll still have me..._

He almost lost his nerve as he climbed the stairs to the first floor and stood outside the front door. Inside he could hear the quiet strains of Ella Fitzgerald...his mind drifted, recalling an evening so long ago where they’d danced, just the two of them pressed cheek to cheek as they swayed to the blissful sounds of the Goddess Ella, sharing soft kisses that grew rapidly in intensity, leading to a night of loving that had taken them to a new level of unspoken commitment... 

He took the plunge and knocked on the door, waiting impatiently... His heart sank as there was no response... _forgive me Ianto...please..._ He knocked again...

The door opened and Ianto stood there. He looked so beautiful, tie undone and hanging loose, the red silk swaying with the movement of his body, his waistcoat undone and a tantalising glimpse of soft downy hair peeking through the open top buttons of his shirt... Jack opened his mouth...the words jumbling in his head as he fought to free them in coherent order...and failed completely as not a sound appeared... His eyes sought Ianto’s in panic, filling with tears that threatened to spill any second... _I came back for you..._

His heart missed several beats as the young man’s eyes reflected everything he was feeling and he held out his arms. Jack flung himself into them, sliding his own arms round his Welshman as their lips met, softly, tentatively...the kiss building rapidly as their tongues sought out the familiar contours of each other’s mouths and they melted into the embrace...

When they came up for air, hearts pounding, bodies trembling, Jack tried again to say what he’d rehearsed in his head... _I came back for you...I...I love you..._ only to have Ianto press a finger to his lips, a minute shake of his head telling him there was no need for words... _he knew...his gorgeous, wonderful, fantastic Welshman knew..._ and then he crushed their mouths together in a searing kiss that screamed out at the top of their voices, loud enough for the whole of time and space to hear... _you still have...all of me..._

End

Jack’s song is My Immortal by Evanescence: 

 <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo>

 

 

 

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from my LJ


End file.
